Psalm 17 - Clanging Cymbals

We make a living by what we get.

We make a life by what we give.

It was just a quote penned by someone to sell a poster. It’s catchy. It’s cliché. It’s simplistic. It’s a Hallmark card. Yet it still made me stop and think….probably because that was where I was at on that particular day. I was evaluating giving….not just money, but my time….my heart….me. It is true; I go to my job and work to provide for the basic necessities of life. It is a bonus when we are fortunate enough to have a job that we enjoy so much that we could say that we would actually do it even if no pay were involved. Those dream jobs vary from person to person based on their individual talents and interests. I think of professional musicians and athletes and inventors. Still, most toil daily at something less than their passion because they have to make a living. They have to pay the bills. We can work as much or as little as we like based on what we consider the necessities of life to be. For some, it is just the basics of shelter, food, transportation. For others it is much more. How much of that income we keep for ourselves and how much we give away is based on our values as well. That is an easy call for me most of the time, but I will admit that I like to be comfortable. So, I would have to say that I am probably more selfish than I would like to believe. We/I do make a living by what we/I get. The second part doesn’t say we make a life by how much we give away….but it says by what we give. Obviously if someone’s basic needs are not being met we would want to help monetarily if we are able, but is that all it says? It would be all too easy to throw a few dollars someone’s way, call it a day, and go back to my comfortable home with a fully stocked refrigerator in my 2007 Caliber. It isn’t the fanciest of homes or the most expensive of cars by choice because I do want the opportunity to “give” some away. Yet, I have always believed that to invest in someone is more than giving them money…it involves a commitment to them of ourselves which involves a gift of time and love. I’ve been weighing the cost of that. When you give money away and it goes unappreciated or possibly is misused it is frustrating, but you know that there will always be that next paycheck. It is not that big of a deal. But, when you give of yourself….your heart….when that is abused or unappreciated or rejected even…that rips a piece of you away. How do you get that back? Do you just become hardened so that you avoid feeling? Do you run or put up walls around your heart so that you avoid the possibility of pain? Do you allow yourself to become angry and bitter? Do you begin to selfishly give just to get? Because if that is the case then that is more about you than the person that you are choosing to invest in! I guess as I have been evaluating my life I am trying to figure out how to give and specifically how much to give. Is it possible to give too much? And how much is too much anyway? Wouldn’t that be a value judgment based on capacity? We may have a limited resource in time…but love, shouldn’t there be an endless supply of that? That isn’t something that can be hoarded or stored up. As I considered how painful that process has been at times I remembered how many times I have just wanted to run, how many times I have wanted to just give up, how many times I have questioned the saying, “It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. (Yeah, right…) Then I remembered this metal heart that I have on the wall in my guest bathroom. On it is the text from I Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

I think that is what it really is all about. I know that I make mistakes in loving. I haven’t figured out how to always do it perfectly…and everyone views and receives it differently. Besides this kind of love doesn’t come from me…it is of divine origin and I am only the conduit. Still because the vessel it comes through is imperfect, even though the love itself is perfect because of its origin, it is at times imperfectly given. Yet, I hope that at the end of my life if nothing more is said about me it will be that the fruits of the labor of my life, at least for the most part, was characterized by patience, kindness, humility, gentleness, forgiveness, selflessness. That those who knew me felt protected, trusted me, were encouraged by my presence and knew that I was always there for them. There was a song that I used to sing in the band that had as part of the lyrics, “Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay. Love to be love must be given away.” I Corinthians 13 concludes with what I think is the best summary of what we give to make a life…not just a living. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”