SHATTERED - Part 2

I “wrote” a blog not long ago and entitled it “Shattered Glass”. “Wrote” is the operative word because there were no words. I couldn’t seem to find words to describe accurately what I was feeling, so rather than try; I encapsulated my emotions in a pictorial. Then today as I was driving there was a song on the radio and as I listened I realized that he was singing what my heart had been unable to verbalize. He wrote the missing lyric to my blog. Granted, I didn’t completely understand everything that he was communicating through the song, but then again I don’t even really understand what I am trying to communicate! There was one phrase that posed a question that resonated with my soul. I have no answer for it….maybe there is no answer for it….or maybe there is, but I just don’t know how to get there.

How many times can I break till I shatter?

Every broken heart, every lost dream, every bitter disappointment, every loss, every rejection…..every time you wonder…..just how many times can I break till I shatter?

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything

Is that what I need? Or, is that running? Will change protect or just be a delusion that eventually leads back to the same result?

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around

Where do these words fit? TRUST, FAITH, HOPE, BELIEF; these are amazing words! They illicit peace, confidence, assurance, rest, comfort, and security. Why is it so difficult for me to simply turn the car around and point it towards them instead of being consumed by the fear that the next broken whatever could be that time that I shatter? What would shatter….me, or just my hopes and dream? Or, do my hopes and dreams define me and thus shattering them is shattering me? Does it even matter? Should it even matter? Maybe we are meant to shatter so that Someone can pick up the pieces. The truth is….do I trust what He will do with those pieces? Maybe I can’t turn the car around because I am not meant to drive. Maybe you have to “shatter” to finally figure that out.